Land of Dawn and Roses
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•Scorpio Sagittarius Cusp•Eclectic Pagan
•Panromantic Demisexual•Derse Dreamer
•Queen of Hope•Dauntless•Slytherclaw
•Cassiopeia
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iraffiruse:

Frozach Submitted
high resolution →

iraffiruse:

Frozach Submitted

» time 19 hours ago   » notes 13526

gingerhaze:

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» time 1 day ago   » notes 87495

I found a copy of the Twilight AU that became 50 Shades of Grey.

catbountry:

kumquatwriter:

ryeisenberg:

ryeisenberg:

  • It’s called Master of the Universe.
  • It was originally published on Fanfiction.net (aka where fanfiction goes to die).
  • E.L. James’ pen name was Snowqueens Icedragon because of course it was.
  • Snowqueens Icedragon does not use quotation marks. 
  • She does, however, make up expressions like "my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba" and “I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone.”
  • They spend more time filling out sex-related paperwork than they do actually having sex.
  • This is my reaction to all of the sex scenes:
  • image
  • Because the human body doesn’t work like that
  • This is my reaction to everything else:
  • image
  • Because the english language doesn’t work like that.

The 50 Shades of Grey trailer just dropped, so here’s a link to the original Twilight fanfiction that the book is “based” off of, because if you’re gonna read the book before you see the movie you might as well read it in its original format. 

Reblogging because the reaction gifs are spot on.

I couldn’t stand FSOG and couldn’t make it past the sporking of the second book - but if you’re interested in the “original” fanfiction, now you have it. And if you’re interested in some genius sporking of it:

http://jennytrout.wordpress.com/jenny-reads-50-shades-of-grey/

The audio ones are the best.

Manwithoutabody has been doing a reading of this story as well, with plenty of clips thrown in to make it funnier.

» time 1 day ago   » notes 12353
plays


jackfrostciicle:

hunterofthehorde:

sofriel:

tickatocka:

a kitten trying super hard to fight a ceramic cat statue

THANK U 4 THIS

Oh god oh god

I am so glad

» time 1 day ago   » notes 30258

(Source: sandandglass)

» time 1 day ago   » notes 46722

kawaibae:

I am a firm believer that rough sex and cuddling go hand in hand.

(Source: eagerclit)

» time 1 day ago   » notes 58979

vexingvendibles:

wallabrambles:

i know that it’s ‘cecilos’ as in the mashup between ‘cecil’ and ‘carlos’ but

i always read it as like

a cereal name 

CECIL-O’S, NIGHT VALE’S PREFERRED WHEAT- AND WHEAT-BYPRODUCT-FREE BREAKFAST FOOD. EACH BOX COMES WITH A PRIZE! WE DIDN’T PUT IT IN THERE, BUT WE’RE SURE THAT IT’S TOTALLY SAFE!’

image

I liked it a lot.

» time 1 day ago   » notes 2328

(Source: terrabranfords)

» time 1 day ago   » notes 5135
freeleech:
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freeleech:

image

(Source: 103312)

» time 1 day ago   » notes 188842

taeillilimambo:

thumbs up for zico not only making a sick beat about how girls are perf just the way they are but also making ostriches feel good about themselves well done zico very good.

» time 1 day ago   » notes 3045
godotal:

omgbuglen:

How to use sand to freak people out

Imagine if some guy was tripping and saw the woman, runs up to help her and she just crumbles apart in his hands. That’s gonna take the trip south.
high resolution →

godotal:

omgbuglen:

How to use sand to freak people out

Imagine if some guy was tripping and saw the woman, runs up to help her and she just crumbles apart in his hands. That’s gonna take the trip south.

» time 1 day ago   » notes 121981
antiporn-activist:

toxines:

a did a diagram of my anger

when the game is set up so you can’t win, stop playing the game.

antiporn-activist:

toxines:

a did a diagram of my anger

when the game is set up so you can’t win, stop playing the game.

» time 1 day ago   » notes 4846
high resolution →

(Source: unclefather)

» time 1 day ago   » notes 80551

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

» time 1 day ago   » notes 67227

(Source: skotophobia)

» time 2 days ago   » notes 52846

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